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So what about conditioning ?

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Negative Conditioning is well known for its ability to make animals do things.  For example if an animal is placed on a hot plate it will appear to dance.  If the animal is played music at the same time after awhile it will associate the music with the hot plate.  The hot plate may be removed and the animal will appear to still dance when music is played.

Conditioning may also be used more positively.  If an animal is given a treat when encouraged to dance then the animal will associate getting the treat with dancing and the treat will not need to be given so much.  The treat could be in the form of praise.

Therefore praise is a form of positive conditioning and opposite to this, ridicule, is a form of negative conditioning.

Conditioning will also take place if a person is shown or told to be afraid of something.  This is especially significant if done by a person they trust.

When a baby is born it has no fears and would play with a dangerous object if allowed.   The baby is taught, conditioned, that certain things are dangerous to them.

A person is conditioned to be fearful of the thing that causes them the feelings of anxiety.

It should be noted that if people feel "sorry for you" or if they try to protect you from life this could also cause problems.  People who constantly "help" you are not allowing you to face and conquer the anxiety.  

One of the reasons that some people do this is because it gives then a scene of control and power.  It also gives them and an "ego trip" because they feel they are able to do things other aren't.   They are able to dominate the situation, this may help them better about their own insecurity's.  This may undermine a persons confidence and self esteem even more and make you feel even less able to carry out normal day to day tasks.  The circle of anxiety resulting in a lack of  self confidence begins.  After a while you may become conditioned to believe that you are unable to do things.  The person may start to avoid situations that would result in them experiencing anxiety and develop a phobia about the situation.

Some times a person who is very experienced at carrying out a task forgets that when they first learned it they too found it difficult to carry out.  They expect others to be as confidant as they are doing the task.  This causes some people to undermine the person learning the task. This may not always be done deliberately but the effect can be just as undermining to person..


A fine balancing act exists between allowing you to use your strengths and supporting you without patronising or degrading your confidence.  This is one reason you may benefit from the help of a professional person.

Negative messages which you should counteract with positive self messages and affirmations

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